What is Polyamory?
Hello beautiful creatures! Today’s video is an alternative lifestyle video on What is Polyamory? I tell you what Polyamory is, some of the different types of Polyam and terms surrounding it. I share the 5 best Polyamory books to get you started and what sources to avoid. I recommend my favorite YouTube channels and podcasts that cover this topic as well.
What is Polyamory? Video
If you prefer to watch things with closed captioning, the way I do, head over to watch this video on YouTube.
What exactly is Polyamory?
What is Polyamory? Polyamory, sometimes shortened to polyam, It is having multiple romantic relationships at the same time where everyone knows about them and agrees with them. It is not cheating. It is not swinging.
Can Polyamory Work?
Yes, Polyam relationships can work if everyone involved in the relationship is honest about their needs and directly communicates with them. I cannot be happy in a polyamorous relationship with passive-aggressive people who do not articulate their needs or care about mine.
What is the difference between Polyamory and monogamy?
Polyamory is having multiple romantic relationships at the same time. Monogamy is having one romantic relationship.
What is the difference between Polyamory and ethical non-monogamy?
Ethical non-monogamy is an umbrella term. Polyam is a type of ethical non-monogamy.
What is the difference between Polyamory and swinging?
Polyamory focuses on love and emotions. Swinging is typically considered a purely sexual thing and is another type of non-monogamy.
What is Polyamory vs. Polygamy?
Polyamory has multiple romantic relationships. Polygamy means you have multiple spouses. Polygyny means multiple wives. Polyandry means multiple husbands.
How does Polyamory work?
As I go to great detail in the video, there are many different ways to do Polyam. I have a preference for kitchen table style. I like to know my metamours and spend time with them, in addition to my romantic partners.
What’s KTP in Polyamory?
KTP is an acronym for Kitchen Table Polyamory, which is my favorite type of Polyam. It’s where you deliberately nurture a cozy environment for your partners, and their partners are often called metamours.
What is a Meta or Metamour?
A metamour, sometimes shortened to meta, is the partner of your romantic partner, who you are not romantically involved with.
What is a V or Hinge?
A V or Hinge relationship is where you have 1 person romantically involved with 2 other people, and those 2 other people are not romantically involved with each other.
What is a unicorn?
A Unicorn is often referred to as a ‘hot bisexual babe.’ Usually Unicorns are sought after by couples and they’re fetishized. You can read more about unicorns at Unicorns-R-Us.
What is a dragon?
A Dragon is often referred to as a ‘hot bisexual dude.’ They can also be fetishized like Unicorns.
What is NRE?
NRE, which stands for New Relationship Energy, is the ‘rose colored glasses’ you often get when you start a new relationship. You’re heady from your body’s chemical reaction to the new person and it clouds your judgment. You might call this period the honeymoon period of a relationship. Read more about it at Psychology Today.
What is the best polyamory dating site or app?
Most people I know overwhelmingly recommend OkCupid as the best polyamory dating site. OkCupid is where I met a good chunk of my friends here in Florida, so I can confirm it can be helpful in some areas of the country. Unfortunately, OkCupid dumbed down their matching algorithm to make it easier to match with more people, thus making it far less helpful, in my opinion. I met my last girlfriend via OkCupid over a decade ago. Then, if I matched with someone over 90%, we were likely to be compatible. These days, it’s a crapshoot. I’ve found that if you’re on a dating site and someone doesn’t want to talk politics, they’re probably conservative and not going to be a match for me. It does have excellent filters so that if you don’t want straight people to see your profile, for example, you can make that happen.
In addition to OkCupid, there’s PolyMatchMaker. However, the site doesn’t have a massive user base. It doesn’t have a great search or sort features. And no matter what you say you’re interested in on that site, you still end up getting messages from people who are not what you’re looking for. Additionally, they don’t have a way to temporarily deactivate your account if you want to take a break, so they’re missing a lot of features.
There’s also the Feeld app, which is a dating app for couples and singles. You can also try Bumble.
But honestly, in my experience, I’ve done the best using OkCupid (before they dumbed down their matching) and meeting people organically in person at events. When I’m finally open to adding another partner, I will be looking to meet someone organically in person.
The 5 Best Books to Start With
Here are my recommendations for the 5 best Polyamory books to start with. In the video I include a suggested reading order.
- The Ethical Slut
- PolySecure
- The Polyamory Breakup Book
- Love’s Not Color Blind
- The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory
YouTube Channels I Recommend
Below are the YouTube channels I recommend for learning more about Polyamory from, though as I touch on in the video, these sources are all kink / BDSM friendly.
Podcasts I Recommend
These are the two Polyamory podcasts that I recently started listening to.
Final Thoughts on Polyam
I wanted to leave you with some final thoughts. I don’t think Polyamory is superior to monogamy, though I’ve heard a lot of people make that argument. I just know it works for me. I’m speaking from the position of someone who has been polyamorous for over three decades.
It blows my mind that Newsweek reported that 1 in 9 people have tried polyamory and 1 in 6 are interested. I would not have guessed interest in it was so high!
Also, if you have recently left Facebook, or are thinking of leaving Facebook, we finally have the Hex Squad Discord Server set up! Join us for makeup and more on Discord!
Bookmarking this post for future reference (I have so many from you lol)
I think you were the first person I knew who was polyam. After loads of discussions I had a hinge relationship for over a year. We met online, but I would like to meet someone offline. I’m also pan. The lgbtqia+ community is really small here. We are hoping to move to a friendlier area in the future.
Have a few of those books on my to read list, and I’m adding provides to my “new things for 2022” list (I know, I’m so behind).
Thanks as always, you rock! 💜🌈🦄