I’m Proud to be a Villain! Lessons on Dealing with Narcissists, Biohacking the Brain & More
Hey fam! Today I’m sharing an important message about how I’m proud to be a villain! Everyone needs to get used to being the villain in someone’s story. If you are an empath (which I am), you are often a target for narcissists. Yes, I have been subjected to narcissistic abuse many times in my life. Narcissists like to shift the blame to others. My birth mother was a narcissistic mother, which makes me unfortunately susceptible to them. So today I talk about how to get used to being the villain, being ok with only you knowing your side of the story, and more. I also talk about and offer advice on how I’m biohacking my brain to make it more positive with things like gratitude journaling. Please watch the video!
I’m Proud to be a Villain! Video
Watch I’m Proud to be a Villain directly on Youtube!
I’m Proud to be a Villain Look
TheBalm Put a Lid on It Eye Primer
Cozzette Beauty Essential Powder in C1 (v)
Melt Cosmetics Inmortal Gel Eyeliner (v)
Rituel de Fille Caerulum
CoverGirl Lash Blast Mascara
LA Girl Black Brow Pencil
Em Cosmetics Ebony Brow Cream
Extra Large Eyelid Tape (to be honest I need a larger size but can’t find one that’s cheaper than this)
Urban Decay All Nighter Face Primer (v)
Urban Decay Stay Naked Correcting Concealer in 10NN (v)
Urban Decay Stay Naked Weightless Liquid Foundation in 10NN (v)
Urban Decay Stay Naked the Fix Powder Foundation in 10NN (v)
Urban Decay Stay Naked Threesome in Rise (v)
Black Moon Cosmetics Liquid Lipstick in Sorrow (v)
I just had to pull out my simple black horns for my I’m Proud to be a Villain look and I grabbed my favorite lipstick, Black Moon Sorrow. It’s my signature lipstick color these days. I love to wear it and I get so many compliments on it.
What is an Empath?
Empaths are people who are highly sensitive to external stimuli like sounds, big personalities, hectic environments, etc. Empaths often lack the filters that your average person has to protect themselves from too much external stimulation. This article explains more details about empaths. I also found one for you that talks about the toxic relationship between narcissists and empaths. Sadly, I fall prey to narcissists though I am learning to spot red flags to protect myself.
What is a Narcissist?
What is a narcissist? Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a type of personality disorder that makes the person have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention, troubled relationships, and a disturbing lack of empathy.
In my experience, these people act like they were the most popular people in high school, and they’re still stuck in this mentality of they are the most popular, they control access to what you want or need. They have this huge sense of entitlement. Narcissists basically are very transactional and love to use people. They try to control the story narrative and get other people to back them up, usually through pressure or threats.
Most people who have narcissistic traits don’t consider themselves to have a mental health issue. In my personal experience, the narcissists in my life liked to bully, demean, belittle others to make themselves feel better.
They’re Just Not Into You
Along the same lines, stop chasing people who aren’t into you. Stop chasing people who give you mixed signals. If you don’t know where you stand with somebody, they’re probably not into you. If you’re getting mixed signals, they’re probably not into you OR you’re they’re backup for something.
Learn to Set Boundaries
Boundaries are healthy. Learn to set boundaries with everyone, including your friends and family. It’s especially important in close situations or you may be taken advantage of. I have unfortunately had my kind nature taken advantage of many times.
I’ve been called a bitch because of setting boundaries and cutting out toxic people like narcissists and borderline personality disorder people who have abused me. If it makes me a bitch to stand up for myself and have boundaries, then I’m proud to be a bitch. I’m proud to be a villain! I’m taking care of myself and my loved ones.
Maybe it’s because I’m over 40, I’m 41 and going on 42, I finally have the freedom to say Fuck you, I don’t care. And if it really bothers me, well, I just block you, delete you, move on, and I don’t waste time thinking about you.
The people I cut out of my life over the past few years, the narcissists, I don’t think about them, I don’t miss them. I remind myself that I never really KNEW them because everything they ever presented was likely fake. The stories they told sometimes don’t even hold a single grain of truth! Read about how I don’t talk to my toxic parent.
The people who really know you and love you will believe you. They will ask you. Focus on them. Embrace being a ‘villain’ in a narcissist’s story. Be proud of it.
I’m really getting into biohacking to improve my health. Biohacking is where you use whatever tools necessary to maximize you being the best you that you can be. For example, I use my Oura ring to biohack my body to see how I’m sleeping, which days I can push myself harder to work out, and which days to take it easy. It’s the best waterproof sleep and fitness tracker I’ve found so far. I do this to help improve my health because I believe eating right, working out, and taking care of myself will help me to feel better.
The biggest thing that I have done for myself so far in 2020 is to start gratitude journaling. Gratitude journaling is my secret weapon! Every morning, the first thing I do is either write down or say out loud 10 different things I am grateful for. That has helped to shift my mindset to being more positive. So while I am going through one of the darkest times in my life, I’m able to handle it. It’s still insanely stressful.
I bought myself this Zen as Fuck Gratitude Journal once I realized I love gratitude journaling. But you don’t need a special journal to do it. You can just use your phone or any piece of paper you have laying around. The important thing is to either write down the 10 things, or speak them out loud, so that you are making it real.
Have you dealt with a narcissist in your life? How did you handle them? Have you tried biohacking or gratitude journaling?
You go, Girl! We don’t have time to babysit narcissists. They are stealers of joy and bonding. There is a neighbor in my area that has been causing havoc here for years. I’m so much less tolerant with people like this.
You are so generous and sharing with your passion for beauty and self expression. Your kindness and advice is valuable to so many. Your makeup artistry is stunning, thoughtful and unlike anything else I have ever seen. You are a truly inspiring person and you should be proud of the art and knowledge that you share. I have been reading your blog for at least 10 years, and you continue to develop and evolve as a person. I am happy for you. I wish you the very best, and thank you for all that you have shared and accomplished with your blog.
I’m the same. I block and disconnect vile people even if they are supposed to be family. I don’t like drama and won’t allow anyone disrupt my peace
Great post! my ex-husband was a Narcissist. I had wondered but it really hit home when I was at work and typing a handout for the Mental Health Tech program. It listed traits that Narcissists have and my ex ticked almost every box.
I too have been taken advantage of in my own family and am still dealing with it.
Rachel Runyan says
I love the title of this. Fantastic video! I’ve told you about dealing with narcissists in my life, too. I’ve spent the last couple decades cutting out narcissists and toxic people from my life, and not acquiring new ones (with varying degrees of success). I’ve tried to be less of a people pleaser. You’re so brave to share this and give all of us dealing with this a voice.
Lola Seicento says
WHAT A GREAT POST AND VIDEO, COURTNEY! This is just brilliant, and you are a phenomenal human being!